Sex should not feel painful, unless that is your kink. But for many people with vaginas, pain can be all too common.

Finding the root cause of what may be disturbing your pleasure is the first step to a solution.

Infections such as UTIs, yeast infections, and STIs can all make sex uncomfortable, but with a good antibiotic, these root causes can be managed. A lube (Only A Pleasure) can help vaginal dryness, which is often a side-effect of pre-menopause and menopause. A few other causes of painful sex include endometriosis, fibroids, medication, cysts, hormonal changes, pelvic floor dysfunction, chronic conditions like arthritis or fibromyalgia, skin disorders, bacterial infection, and perineum tears (from either anal sex or childbirth).
These may all cause people to experience pain during sex, difficulty in reaching orgasm, and even a lack of desire.

One can feel pain during sex due to psychological causes such as depression, anxiety and stress.

If you’re experiencing pain during sex, you’re far from alone, the best thing you can do is speak up about it: to your partner and your doctor. No matter what the cause, some solutions can help and get you on your way to feeling good again.

It’s hard to talk about, but rather have 1 minute of discomfort when speaking up, than a lot more pain during what should be a good time.
The bottom line is that if it hurts, you need to say something. And a lot of the time, when it comes down to being able to talk about touchy subjects like this, it’s all about the person you are with. Do they hold space for you and allow for open communication in the bedroom? You need someone who is going to care about what you need and who will be open to listening and changing the course of things in certain situations if need be. Changing position can help or gently steer your partner, telling them what you want. But talk to your partner. And, at the end of the day, there are plenty of other ways to have an intimate time together without penetrative sex.