· By Team PLEASE
Sure, long distance relationships have their downs (much like non-long distance-relationships) but there are definitely some upsides. Let’s look at both sides of the story.
Love is love, no matter the distance. Right? Well let’s not jump to any conclusions too quickly. It’s important to have a good look at all the sides, the good and the bad.
If your lover happens to be moving or already living in another city, country, or continent, I think it’s safe to say that it is very difficult to just stop loving that person. Unfortunately love doesn’t have an off, or on, button. This is where long distance relationships come into play.
With distance comes many challenges, the most obvious one being physical intimacy. Being able to touch and be physical with your loved ones is one element that really strengthens a relationship, giving couples a sense of security and closeness. On the other hand, couples who are apart, aren’t able to share this physical intimacy, so staying together can be tough but of course doable.
Another tough obstacle? Communication. Sure, technology has really changed the game in so many ways, but the non verbal cues is where it gets tricky. We also can’t be sure we have our partner’s full attention when talking online, as apposed to face to face, IRL conversation, which ultimately leads to miscommunication and misunderstandings and conflict.
And then there’s the lack of quality time spent together. Yes, calls and Facetime sessions can be scheduled but you have to be careful that this doesn't end up feeling like an obligation or worse, a chore.
Time to lighten up, it’s not all bad news you guys. Let’s look at the positives
There’s no doubt that there are some major advantages to being in a long distance relationship.
One being that it allows each person to have their own individual identity and life outside of that relationship - something that many couples who without physical boundaries struggle with. The other plus is that distance generally makes the heart grow fonder, so when you are finally together, it’s electric.
On the topic of communication, distance can truly bring couples closer together as talking, regardless of the medium, is pretty much all they’ve got. Experts say that it comes down to shifting your communication from asking for support to sharing. Your partner, who may be in another country won’t be able to help you through something - what you can do is share your experience, whether it’s a tough day or a triumph. Learning to express your feelings is key to building a strong relationship, especially a long distance one.
Most couples will find it difficult due to the lack of physical intimacy. We have some ideas for you to keep it interesting while being miles apart. YES, PLEASE.
Keep things exciting with novel experiences to avoid falling into a lacklustre routine. Sending your lover an actual letter (possibly with a polaroid of yourself in ;)) is extremely sexy! There is nothing like reading the words of your lover in their voice to yourself and having something to cherish and read through when you feel apart.
Thanks to technology it is much easier to stay emotionally connected, even when living apart. We would advise setting up time for video calls with your partner, even better make these videos a bit more erotic for each other. Maybe it’s having a glass of wine together, or sexting. Phone sex has come a long way, and we definitely think that it can totally be seen as a form of sex these days, sometimes it can be even hotter.
And then there’s the addition of sex toys.A sex toy is a perfect gift between partners who are far away and can help to soften the blow of not having physical intimacy for a while. Gift your lover a toy and use it together (over phone or Facetime) even better, these days there are plenty of app controlled toys that you can control from miles away.
Although we currently don’t stock any of these, we’re looking into it and would love to hear if you’ve made use of any toys like this? (Drop us a mail at firstname.lastname@example.org)
So to round things off, distance sucks but it totally works if you want it to. But it’s exactly that - hard work. So I suppose you just have to be sure that it’s all worth it, much like any relationship.