Lights on vs Lights off

· By Team PLEASE

Light on or lights off, if you’re having great sex, it’ll be great sex regardless. But let’s look at reasons some people favour one over the other.

Imagine your most ideal sex shesh. Let’s set the scene and try to really envision it. Is it in the middle of the day with that summer sunlight bringing that warm glow? Or is it the middle of the night, when you have to see with your other senses through the darkness.

As it stands, about 60% of us are fans of lights-on-sex while the other 40 are enjoying the dark according to this poll. Which side do you find yourself? And do you ever ask yourself why?



What's the Upside?

You get a front row seat of everything that is happening and chances are that’s a huge turn on. "Seeing each other naked can be visually stimulating. The lights being on allows you to see anything and everything that may help you become more aroused," says Jane Greer, Ph.D., New York City-based marriage and sex therapist and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. Being able to see the person you are having sex with, witness their movement, their smiles, and don’t forget how important eye contact is when it comes to intimacy. 

Are there any downsides?

If you struggle with how you feel about the way you look, or are not comfortable with how your body may look during sex, then you might be in your head thinking about that rather than focusing on your own pleasure.
Being so preoccupied with the negative makes it almost impossible to enjoy the positive, namely the mind-bending orgasms. "You can get over body insecurities by focusing instead on what you and your partner like about your body. By tuning in to the positive, you'll be able to overcome any shame or inhibitions you might feel due to your appearance," says Greer.


Give us the Pros

Never underestimate sensory deprivation. Cutting off one sense will only lead to enhancements of the others. So getting heated in a pitch black room will naturally boost every other sense. Touch, smell, taste and sounds will all be electrified. There’s a reason sex stores make silk eye masks. (There’s an idea for us).
And then of course if you are someone that is a bit shy or has trouble enjoying nudity in any way, doing it in the dark is a win! "Having the lights off can help you let go and avoid getting caught up in thoughts about your physical appearance," says Greer.

And the CONS

For some people, being able to see is an important part of a sexual experience so it may cause a feeling of disconnection from the person you are with.

That’s why it’s so important to constantly communicate with the person you’re having a good time with, whether it’s light on or off, to ensure you’re both as comfortable as possible.

If you are a strictly light on type of person, we suggest switching it up and trying out a ‘lights-out-night’. Adding something new is always fun. And vice versa really.

And if you find yourself in a situation where one wants the lights off and the other wants them on, there’s always the beautiful glow of candlelight as an option. We have a few to recommend.

What are your thoughts? Do you prefer lights on or lights off sex?