Popcorn, Please is coming up this week, so we thought: why not talk about the biggest film genre of them all, unrealistic sex scenes. Cinema may have shaped our ideas of romance, intimacy, and desire, for better or for worse, but when it comes to what actually goes down in the bedroom, or on the kitchen counter, or in the shower, Hollywood has been more fantasy than fact.

And sure, that’s what movies are all about: passion, drama, spectacle. They’re magical, cinematic moments, stories we understand aren’t real. But here’s the thing: even knowing that, they still manage to set a standard in our minds. Think back to when we were first figuring things out sexually, those bite-size lessons about sex felt revelatory, but in reality, not so educational. With that in mind, here are a few myths the silver screen sold us, and how the real thing stacks up.

Penetration is the Whole Show

From rom-coms to thrillers, the “big moment” is always penetration. As if that’s the only way sex ever happens. Only a few things are missing: foreplay, lube, clitoral stimulation, multiple erogenous zones, aftercare. You know, basically everything that actually makes sex enjoyable. The movies taught us that penetration is the main event, when in reality, it’s one of many possible acts. The orgasm gap exists for a reason, and part of it is because of this outdated script we’ve all been fed.

Lube? Never Heard of Her

In films, sex is seamless. Clothes fly off, bodies align, and everyone’s ready to go, and the stars seem to magically slide into each other. In real life, lube exists for a reason, and using it isn’t about “not being aroused enough,” it’s about making things smoother, more comfortable for everybody, and way more pleasurable. Hollywood cut lube from the script, and unfortunately, we’ve all suffered for it. Let’s bring lube into sex scenes!

Women Climax Just Like That

You know the scene: two thrusts in, 30 seconds later, voilà, screaming, earth-shattering climax, usually at the same time as their male partner. And sure, movies have a time frame to stick to. But anyone who’s had actual sex knows this is not how it works. Which is why it’s problematic to grow up watching movies expecting to come in 30 seconds. Orgasms come in many forms; sometimes they don’t come at all, and that’s okay. Real intimacy is about exploration, not ticking off a cinematic finish.

Hardly Anyone Talks

Notice how nobody ever talks during sex in movies? No “does this feel good?”, no “slower, faster, softer, harder,” no laughter, no checking in. Just moaning like it’s a symphony. Real sex is messy, vocal, and collaborative. Communication isn’t a mood-killer, it’s actually essential. It’s the very thing that builds trust, comfort, and mind-blowing connection.

The Male Gaze vs. Reality

Most of the sex we’ve seen on screen has been filtered through the male gaze. Camera angles linger on women’s bodies as objects, not subjects of pleasure. But we’ve entered a time when women and queer filmmakers tell these stories, and we start to see something new: sex as connection, sex as exploration, sex as joy, not just something to be performed for someone else.

Hollywood may have gotten it wrong time and time again, but it’s 2025, and storytellers are slowly reshaping the narrative, from realistic depictions of desire, to showing aftercare, to embracing awkwardness as part of the beauty. There are films and directors that teach us what movies never did: that pleasure is diverse, communication is sexy, and sex is not a one-size-fits-all performance.

Because here’s the thing, movies might have left out the messy, playful, awkward, and totally human parts of sex, but that’s exactly where the magic lives. Pleasure isn’t a script, it’s something you create with your partner, or solo, through curiosity, communication, and fun.

So next time you’re watching a steamy scene, remember: what looks good on screen isn’t always what feels good off-screen. And that’s where you get to rewrite the story.

Hope to see you at Popcorn, Please, this Thursday.